Help Wanted: Speechwriter

I read in Newsweek a month ago that there's already talk about what kind of book Dubya is going to write once he's out of office. His daddy penned a book on foreign-policy, while Clinton wrote one about himself (and sold 2.1 million copies). What will our current leader come up with?

Well, presumably, it'll be short, whatever it is. And make use of many of the same words over and over and over . . . in seemingly random order.

Perhaps we need to help the president expand his vocabulary. I've taken a paragraph from a recent speech (that he surely did not write) and I need suggestions on some replacement words. It's not a mad lib . . . it's America.

adjective
verb ending in “s”
abstract noun
plural body part
noun
abstract noun
oriface
adjective
body part
preposition
verb ending in “ed”
verb
abstract noun
verb
adjective
noun
noun

E-mail your suggestions, or post them in the comments. The resulting speech "excerpt" will be posted here.